I find myself wondering about what will happen in the new school year, so I am on tiptoes trying to peek. I’ve created some new signage for my classroom door that I will put together soon. I’ve been tidying up my cabinets because they are a mess. This is my eighth year in the same room, so I reside in my little nest. It needs to be thoroughly dusted. It is no wonder that some of my babies are sneezing and wheezing. They SHOULD be after what I saw on top of my cabinets yesterday. Ugh!
Right now, I have a feeling of unease that I cannot completely describe. I call it a malaise, but I do not feel sick physically. I feel as though I have been weighed in the scales and been found wanting. I don’t always fit in to any particular group or niche, and every now and then even an independent introvert can suffer a bout of loneliness. I am there now and have been over the past few weeks. I feel out of the loop, so I withdraw. The more I withdraw, the more out of the loop I become. It’s a vicious cycle I must break, but I haven’t done it yet. The first step begins with transparency and openness. I am not secretive; I just don’t waste words unless they are required. I keep my counsel until it is needed. Now I am on eggshells. The malaise increases its girth and breadth so that it grows progressively harder not to crack the fragile surface of the path I travel. LORD, I beg for Your help. Please show me the way I should go.