Warning! The questions and answers presented represent a slightly snarky mood. It doesn’t present itself too often, but nonetheless, the snappy comments must have an appropriate home. It’s better here than spoken.
Q: Is this for a grade?
A: Does it matter?
Q: Do you offer extra credit?
A: No, finish and turn in your work the first time, and you won’t have to worry about extra credit.
Q: Do you work on the warm-up exercises during class time?
A: No, it’s homework. Ask your student. He should know what’s going on in class.
Q: How old are you?
A: As old as my tongue and a little bit older than my teeth. Shall I translate? It’s none of your business.
Q: What happens if I (insert ridiculous hypothetical statement)?
A: I don’t deal in hypothetical situations. I deal in the real world.
Q: Can I call you by your first name?
A: Have you lost your mind?
Q: When is this due?
A: What do the directions say?
Q: I don’t get it.
A: When you have a question, I will answer it. Saying “I don’t get it” is a statement, not a question.
Q: Are you part-(insert ethnic group)?
A: (Silent death stare)