Category Archives: Facepalm Worthy

Crush Time

Get those recommendations completed. Yesterday. Schedule that parent conference. Grade the papers. Update the gradebook. Answer the phone. Don’t sit down in the interesting class. Circulate. Circulate. Circulate. Grab a drink of ice cold coffee. Wince a bit, but keep moving forward. Write that email. Or two. Or more. Be in your duty spot. On time today, thank you. Slip off shoes behind the desk. Remember the copies you needed. Slip shoes on again. Navigate the mass of humanity in the hallways. Make them walk. Make them turn around again and walk. From the corner to where I am standing. Shut the locker. Pick up a perfectly good pencil. Notice you have 60 seconds to visit the bathroom before your long stretch of your day comes. Break up a fight. Pick up the fight’s loser’s broken glasses. Snatch a wad of Kleenex from another teacher’s room. Stop his nosebleed. Take the combatants to the office. Walk into your class late. Remind them you are in charge. Don’t sneeze or laugh, or your body will embarrass you. Regret that third cup of coffee. Take a deep breath. Answer questions. Talk until hoarse feeling appears. Teach. Teach. Teach. Conduct after school tutorials. Visit the bathroom. Head to the copier in your house shoes. Round up miscreants who loiter in front of the school. Make them come to your room to work. Feed them a snack to keep their blood sugar up. Drink your hot tea. Grade papers. Contact parents about missing work. Text your spouse about another late night. Curse the copier’s recalcitrance to work at 6:16 P.M. Stub your toe on the way out. Recoil in fear as an angry driver cuts you off in traffic. Hold your tongue in the speedy checkout lane. Smile when the student who refused to work waves at you in Mama’s presence. Remind yourself to visit another grocery store. Remember you left your badge at work. Drive back. Wait for custodian friends to let you in. Grab stack of papers that need to be graded before progress reports. See those forms for feedback on students with learning disabilities (SpEd/Section 504) sitting on your desk. Take a breath. Grab them and put them into your bag. Go home. Collapse. Get up. Repeat the next day.

RLT

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Hopeful to be Adopted Kid-1, RLT -0

In class I was telling my kids that I was weary of finding backpacks, pencils, lunch bags, etc. I expressed myself vehemently. One student raised his hand as I finished my rant. I loudly proclaimed, “I’m not adopting you!” with mock rage. His head dropped in feigned sadness and his seat mate comforted him. “It’s okay.”

I relented and deigned to inquire, “Okay, hon, what was your question?”

“Have you found my water bottle?” I stared at him for a beat. My class burst into laughter as I covered my head and ears with my hands in a gesture of defeat. I didn’t answer him. He won. Today.

RLT

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What Lunch Time?

Two weeks ago, I became so overwrought about my work load that I went without eating my lunch. It is unheard of for me to skip my midday meal. Ever. It started in a grade level department meeting. I have to make some adjustments to the way I do business. I am ever changing something and learning something new. It’s a part of life. I picked up my little snack from the lovely PTA moms and dads and meant to eat it after my soup lunch. Nope. I have to prepare work for two students who have either lost or not done assignments and are in an academic detention. Tick tock goes the clock. Pick up the assignment from the printer down the hall. Oops, I didn’t print that kid’s assignment page. Back to the printer. Google Chrome takes a coffee break. Tick tock. Tick tock. There are five minutes of lunch. Wait, I have two kids in ISS, and I need extra work for them to complete. Brrring! There’s the bell, and now here comes my class.

RLT

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